ERIC RADFORD TKOVR

Trying to decide what to write about for this little project was more difficult than I anticipated. After starting to write about two different topics, I have decided to write about something I love and to which I have given a lot of thought. What lessons can sport teach us that apply to everyday life?

Typically, during a figure skating season, which normally starts in September and culminates with the World championships in March, certain skaters will stand out and build momentum. When the World championships arrive, you can have a good idea of who the favourites for a medal are and sometimes there is clear favourite to win. Meagan Duhamel and I had one of these amazing seasons where we entered the World Championships in 2015 as undefeated that season. Even though we knew we could win, we still had to go out on that ice and prove we deserved it. Nothing is for free in sport, and it can be extremely unforgiving. Years of hard work can go down the drain in a split second. How does a person deal with that? What perspective can you take to make that scenario manageable? How do you get over when something like that happens? Step one is to enjoy the journey. It’s been said many times in different ways, but it truly is the key to living a fulfilling life. How much time do you spend at the “destination”? Those incredible moments last for such short periods of time. The rest of the time was spent trying to get there. It only makes sense to enjoy that 99% of time you spent getting to the destination. Otherwise, you’ll struggle to find joy.

After 3 years of retirement and navigating all the difficulties and struggles the pandemic brought to all of our lives, an incredible opportunity manifested in my life. The random event of me skating for fun with Vanessa James, would be the catalyst for the most beautiful year of my life so far. I think as humans we sometimes see coincidences as signs of something larger than us trying to guide us. For me, it was a series of these concidences, which made it glaringly obvious that this was the universe showing me my next path. When I am faced with certain decisions like this one, I like to imagine myself on my death bed, looking back on my entire life and asking myself, "Did I do what I truly wanted to do in my life?” “Was I honest with myself and did I follow my heart even though it was scary or seemed impossible?” At the very beginning of my and Vanessa’s partnership, I honestly couldn’t believe that at 36 years old, having been retired for 3 years, that I would actually have a chance to go to another Olympics. I have a powerful imagination and it is something that never crossed my mind. Unfortunately, there were many people who weren’t supportive of this decision for various reasons. Some of them were extremely close friends of mine, with who I had been through incredible moments. I was deeply hurt by this at first and felt that the memories we had together must not mean very much to them if it was possible for them to change their minds about our friendship so quickly over me wanting to return to competition. But this taught me an extremely valuable lesson and gave me an expanded perspective. Disney hit the nail on the head when they wrote the song “Let it Go”. But letting it go doesn’t mean just forgetting about what you had. Over time I realized the beautiful memories I had with these friends didn’t lose any value because of what was happening in the present. I could cherish what we shared and at the same time let go and be comfortable that things weren’t going to be the same anymore. Just because a relationship didn’t last forever doesn’t mean it was a failure. In sport and in life, there is more to learn from the difficult times than from those moments when everything works perfectly.

The most important lesson that year of skating with Vanessa taught me, is that if you do it for yourself, you are untouchable. Vanessa and our coach Julie Marcotte would say we needed to stay on our own “little island”. If we kept our focus on that little space between the three of us, if we supported one another and just enjoyed each day of the journey, there were no outside forces that could take away the joy we created. We love to skate, and we all believed in our journey and you know what? If we didn’t make it to the Olympics, all those hours of training and sacrifice would still be worth it. The idea that I was too old to chase after my dream was an idea that came from outside of our little island. One of the proudest accomplishments in my life for me isn’t winning the medals. It’s that I convinced myself that I was able to do something I didn’t believe I could do. I believe we all have this capacity but too often we listen to all those voices that are not part of our “little island”.

All of this to say what’s already been said so many times before; just go for it. Have no regrets. Let it go. Enjoy the journey, and hopefully when we get to our death bed we will look back with nothing but a smile.

Over and out,

Eric for Apollo